Just say thank you

It’s January, which for many of us is ‘return season.’ Time to pack up the gifts you can’t use or don’t like and return or exchange them. I’ve spent hours in those lines myself. But this year I’m wondering: If we understood the art of receiving a little better, could we avoid those customer service lines altogether next year? To get what we really want from life, maybe we need to ditch the traditional resolutions and just say thank you.

How we block receiving

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. When we’re out of balance, it can block us from getting what we want in life. Not just gifts, but other goals and desires, like a promotion at work, a loving partner, or even some time to ourselves.

While many of us desire certain things, we may be blocking ourselves from receiving them. Here are some examples:

• Always giving to, and doing for, everyone else so energetically we’re unavailable to receive from others — a form of codependence.
• Dwelling on the past (what we didn’t get or what we lost) which blocks us from receiving good stuff now — an inability to stay present.
• Lacking clarity on what we want or not feeling worthy of what we desire — so we end up with ‘life’s leftovers’ as Louise Hay would say.

One of the ways we can change this is by seeking better balance between what we send out or give to, and what we are open to receiving from, the world around us.  Just say thank you is about opening our hearts to receiving.

Your state of mind matters

Fulfilling our desires takes more than physical action; it takes careful attention to our thoughts and emotions. Maybe that sounds a little new age to you. But more than a century ago, Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them.” As usual, he was on to something.

To put this decades-old wisdom in action, let’s apply it to another January tradition: Making New Year’s resolutions.

We make resolutions because we want to change what’s not working and feel better about ourselves and our lives. Unfortunately, most of us give up on them by March. Maybe thinking a little differently about our resolutions will help us stick to them.

Better yet, with this approach, we can feel good before we even achieve them.

Re-energize your resolutions

Most resolutions are the same top ten every year. Why? Because often we’re not clear about what we want or why. Deeper than that, we may be looking outside of ourselves to feel good on the inside. But as William Arthur Ward said, “happiness is an inside job.”

To get to the heart of what you really want, grab your journal or a sheet of paper and divide it into three columns.

• In column one, write your list of goals, desires, or changes you wish to make.
• In the middle, list why you want to achieve each of these.
• In the third column, list how you believe you’ll feel when you achieve each of these.

For example, your goal is to get a promotion: Your why is to make more money because you’ll feel more financially secure. Your goal is to lose weight: Your why is to fit into your pre-covid wardrobe because you’ll feel better about yourself. Your goal is to find a partner. Your why is to be in a relationship so you can feel loved.

Just say thank you

Here’s the twist: By applying the power of focused attention and gratitude, we can feel this way right now.

Here’s how: Find areas where the feelings you desire are present in your life now. For example, maybe you don’t feel financially secure. But you feel secure in your relationship with your partner, children, friends or yourself. Or maybe you’re not so happy about the shape of your thighs. But you can feel appreciation for your beautiful eyes, smile, or spirit. Or maybe you don’t have a romantic partner. But you can feel the love of a child, pet, or Higher Power.

Next, focus your attention on intentionally expressing gratitude for these gifts that give you this feeling now. Here are some simple ways to do that:

• Ask for and accept help from others — any way it’s given. Sometimes our expectations are so high, of ourselves or others, that we don’t receive this gift as graciously as we could. (Hello, my fellow perfectionists out there!)
• Keep a gratitude journal with all the ways you experience beauty or love in your life — in nature, spirit, music, animals, friends, and yes, your body.
• Explore this simple yet sometimes challenging practice from the Buddhist tradition called ‘Be grateful to everyone.’

All of these are ways of showing the Universe we are receiving these wonderful gifts and appreciating them now. And what happens when we feel appreciated? We usually want to give more — and that’s what happens with the Universe, too.

Harness the domino effect

Practicing gratitude has a domino effect: We generate more and more positive emotions which raises our vibrations which increases our level of attraction. Think of what happens when we get on a roll: One good thing happens then another then another. (Or the opposite can happen with a negative spiral of events.)

We still need to show up and take steps towards a goal. That might be honing our interviewing skills or exercising or asking for support from others. But with the magic of gratitude vibrating within, we bring more confidence, joy, and optimism to whatever we do. That’s not only attractive to others, it’s a gift to ourselves. And we’ll never find ourselves standing in line to exchange or return that gift.

So, this year, just say thank you.

Looking to eliminate blocks and move forward faster this year? Consider working with a life coach: Check out my website to learn more.