Time to bury the superwoman myth

As marketed by a cheesy commercial in the late seventies, a real woman’s greatest achievement was to “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, ever let you forget you’re a man.” Disturbingly, five decades later many of us still feel trapped by the superwoman myth, striving to do it all. So, why are some of us still buying this tired song and dance?

Back when TV was king, smart women chalked up these ridiculous campaigns to a bunch of out-of-touch Mad Men. Now the marketing gurus use a more palatable form of brainwashing. It’s delivered by ‘real’ women in the form of influencers on social media — and the line between truth and fiction is now fuzzier than an Instagram filter. More than ever, we seem to believe that the perfect body, perfect home, perfect career, and perfect family are realistic goals and we’re not worthy as women if we fail at them. Worse yet, we seem to believe that these are meaningful goals for all women.

It’s now the 21st century, ladies: Time to bury the superwoman myth.

Superwomen are super stressed

Statistics show that women continue to do the lion’s share of household chores, about 16 hours per week to a man’s six, even when both work outside the home. (Mind you, a single mom does all of it.) Meanwhile, the laundry and the dishes continue to pile up — as does the anger and resentment. So, we eat, drink, shop, run, smoke, and do whatever else helps us stuff down those feelings.

Unfortunately, stuffing causes enormous stress and that comes with consequences. Experts now link chronic stress to many different forms of disease, including auto-immune disorders of which 75 percent occur in women. Most of these strike at a time in our lives when we’re working 24/7, skipping sleep and self-care to juggle kids, career, home, and relationships.

‘A woman’s work is never done’ is a dangerous adage. If we continue to accept this as normal, our bodies will eventually rebel.

Running on empty

In my twenties, I owned a sweet little Toyota Celica six-speed hatchback. I adored it, but I was blissfully unaware of the critical importance of regular maintenance. Until one day while driving down the highway on my way to work, the engine blew up. Looking back, it was a clear metaphor for how I led my life — always rushing to complete my to-do list while running on empty and completely oblivious to my own basic, yet critical, needs.

As an over-achiever and a people pleaser, I rarely asked for help, spoke up when I disagreed, or rested when I needed it. I also suffered with chronic anxiety, although I didn’t know that’s what it was — I just felt nervous and on edge all the time. By my thirties, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, an autoimmune condition of the thyroid. No surprise that this important gland is located in the throat chakra, which correlates to self-expression, especially being able to express our truth or speak out.

Awareness is the first step

Longstanding problems can feel overwhelming and too big to solve. Awareness is the first step —  because we can’t address what we don’t acknowledge or understand. Early in my marriage I saw a counselor who asked me a pretty basic question: How did my husband and I resolve arguments? I must have looked like a dog cocking its head to one side. Huh? Resolve arguments?  We just swept problems under the rug while I silently resolved to work harder.

My lack of awareness kept me locked into a puzzle I couldn’t begin to try and solve. But just like that, I had the first puzzle piece.

Solve puzzles one piece at a time

The good news is that you’re never alone on your journey — and one tiny shift can change the trajectory of even the Titanic. Once you open your eyes with the light of awareness, you can consider what it is you’d like to change and write that down as an intention or goal. You don’t need to map out the entire plan. In fact, that’s a sure way to get stuck. Just figure out one step you can take now — like identifying the next puzzle piece. Then relax and open your heart to guidance on the next step to take. It will come to you.

This quote from explorer W. H. Murray always inspires me: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”

Time to bury the superwoman myth

Ready to bury the superwoman myth but not sure where to start? One of your steps could include talking to a therapist or life coach, like I did, to help you gain insights and identify next steps.

You’ll also get the support you need to achieve a truly meaningful goal for you as a 21st century woman: Enjoying peace, joy, health, and a sense of empowerment. You deserve it.

For more information or to set up a free consultation, visit www.manifestwithmargrita.com.