A playful tool for getting unstuck

Humans are creative beings. Our miraculous minds possess the power to imagine, dream, and create. Yet many of us feel stuck at crossroads in life because we’ve forgotten this power. Like our once beloved toys, all the natural creative juices that oozed out of us as children get boxed up and stored in the attic. And the life we’ve built by the age of 40 or 50 or 60 is supposed to work for us ‘until death do we part.’ So, what do we do when life throws a curve ball as it always does? We can remain deer in the headlights or reclaim our creative spirit by exploring a playful tool for getting unstuck.

A lesson in Lego

My son loved playing with Legos as a child. At the store, the dazzling pictures on the covers of those big, boxed sets mesmerized him.  As soon as I turned the car key in the ignition, he’d crack open the box to study the instructions.

His mechanically minded brain thrived on that sort of challenge. I’d figure he’d enjoy days, maybe even weeks, of magical playtime, but he’d have those suckers built before l knew it. Then what? We’d place it on a shelf to admire his work and with the real fun over, he’d start begging for a new one.

Then one day, to my shock and horror, he retrieved a few of the models from the shelf and unceremoniously dismantled them brick by brick.

I wanted to scream no! Not just because of the price tag, but because now all he had was a huge, jumbled pile of mismatched plastic pieces. How would he ever put Humpty Dumpty back together again?

The art of trial and error

Fortunately, I bit my tongue — and picked up one of those enormous under-the-bed boxes to corral the sprawling mess on the floor.

Observing him later, I fully understood the secret genius of what had seemed a rash decision.

Truly a kid in a Lego candy store, he spent hours digging through the heap, snapping pieces together then apart, again and again, until something sparked his imagination. Then he became a man on a mission, artfully handcrafting a car, plane, a dinosaur, or some other intriguing invention.

Once he floored me by building his own version of the Titanic! No instructions, just trial and error. Plus, the willingness to let go of someone else’s idea of what he could choose to create from his imagination.

Can’t stop the feeling

As children, we welcomed the time and freedom to be creative and express ourselves.

Depending on what captured our fancy, we danced, played dress-up, built pillow forts, and dreamed up surprising uses for ordinary household objects. Some of us, like my son, weren’t afraid to take things apart, experiment, and see what happens.

Yes, this can lead to some unfortunate consequences, but it’s the way we learn and grow. It’s also how curious children have invented some amazing things that many of us take for granted, like holiday string lights, snowmobiles, and even braille!

This is the creative spirit within us that sometimes gets lost when we start ‘adulting.’ We grow up and begin creating lives based on a set of instructions written by someone else.

Facing transitions

This is not necessarily a bad thing; we can achieve a lot that way. Plus, when focused on goals and responsibilities, our purpose seems clear. Even if it’s pure survival, at least we know what we need to do each day.

Then somewhere along the way, the inevitable happens: The path ends, takes an unexpected turn, or starts feeling more pointless than promising. We may feel restless, bored, dissatisfied, and even depressed despite reaching goals we set out to achieve.

This can happen at any age. Maybe the kids leave the nest, a relationship ends, or a career path goes stale.

No matter the reason, the feelings can be unsettling. Like we’re lost at sea with no direction or purpose to our lives anymore.

Speaking the truth

As a life coach and trusted friend, I often listen as people quietly ‘confess’ their secret discontent to me. It’s as if they’re being ungrateful or disloyal in some way — or that saying the words will invite disaster.

Yet, it’s quite the opposite. Ignoring our feelings can lead to destructive behaviors—affairs, addiction, misdirected anger, and poor choices.

Emotions are the language of the soul. They guide us if we’re willing to acknowledge and listen.

Facing the truth about how we feel in a safe, constructive, non-judgmental way frees us to receive inspiration from the deepest part of ourselves.

Reinventing our path

A lot of us didn’t get to make our own choices as kids. Ironically, once we earn that freedom with age, we often look to others for direction or approval, then blame them if we feel stuck or unhappy in our lives. Parents, society, the church. Yes, they’ve influenced us, but the truth is we own our story.

That means we get to choose what we think and believe, how we respond, and what we do with our time and energy in this lifetime.

Over the years, our experiences and memories pile up inside of us like those random Lego pieces. We can choose to look for instructions as to what to create with them or we can look within.

Of course, reinventing one’s path in life feels a little more daunting than playing with Legos. That’s why people follow ‘influencers’ or fall prey to MLM schemes, cults, and gurus that promise a path to happiness and success.

Finding true inspiration

To find a truly authentic path or solution to what’s weighing on us, we need to reject these pre-packaged models and toss out the instruction manual. Without ‘experts’ to guide us, we’re left to our own devices.

Again, this may feel unsettling if we’ve been relying on others to lead the way. But as the saying goes, it’s never too late to be who you might have been. So, how do we set out on this exciting yet intimidating journey?

By following in the footsteps of the wonderfully wise among us: Children.

We often believe that big and complex ‘problems’ need equally big and complex solutions. That’s just the fear part of the brain talking.

Play like no one’s watching

Like those child inventors, solutions may be simpler than we think. As Albert Einstein famously said, “imagination is more important than knowledge.” So how do we calm those fears and tap into our brain’s magical creative power?

One way is to play like no one’s watching—literally. There are many books written on the topic of play as an avenue for igniting creativity and so much more. In fact, the brilliant Brene Brown includes play as one of her guideposts for wholehearted living.

Whether we’re looking to solve a problem, reignite passion or purpose in our lives, or simply feel more alive and well, play can be our ticket to ride—and it’s something we all can do. We just need to remember how.

Permission to be selfish

I learned to invite play back into my life with something called an ‘Artist Date.’ This concept comes from the author of The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron. An Artist Date is the adult version of a play date, but solo. It’s time alone to do something that stokes our sense of fun or curiosity—like meandering through an antique store or people watching on a park bench or visiting an alpaca farm. The activity doesn’t matter so much as enjoying solo time with no purpose in mind.

In other words, time to play.

The first few times I planned an Artist Date, I was a busy wife and mom. I felt not only silly but selfish because there was always something more pressing to do—like laundry, grocery shopping, or helping with homework. Of course, there was—there always was! But as I’ve written before, sometimes we unconsciously use busyness to avoid looking inside ourselves.

Carving out time for play is neither silly nor selfish. It’s a fun way to connect with our soul’s desire and a playful tool for getting unstuck.

Your brain on play

The magic of the Artist Date, and any kind of play, is that it stimulates dormant pathways in the brain. This can also fire up long forgotten dreams and ideas. For me, I reconnected with a long-lost passion for writing. That eventually set me on a new career path—one I’d all but abandoned since college.

A few years ago, I took the Artist Date to the extreme by booking a solo trip to Sedona. My son, an adult by then, kept the home fires burning while I spent two days at a women’s workshop followed by four, unscheduled days alone. I puttered through shops and art galleries, journaled on my balcony, visited the Grand Canyon and an old hippie town perched on a mountain peak, and got a fascinating Tarot reading.

It sounds amazing and was truly life changing. But it wasn’t all roses and sunshine. Time alone also brings up fears and emotions we often like to keep stored away in that attic, too. But when I reflect on that time, it was the catalyst for my becoming a holistic life coach. (That’s why I chose the red rock canyons as the theme of my coaching website.)

A playful tool for getting unstuck

Crossroads and transitions in life can be unsettling. But we don’t need to be afraid of those uncomfortable feelings. We can view them as friends knocking on the door and inviting us to come out and play. If we’re longing for renewed purpose or direction, answering that call can reveal a playful tool for getting unstuck.

Even if all we do is spend the afternoon having fun and reconnecting with a forgotten passion, we’ve done more for our health and happiness than any prescription or vitamin can. And who knows where else that may lead?

Get more Good Vibrations

Need more help getting unstuck? Contact me! I’m a holistic life coach who specializes in expressive writing to nurture healing, insight, and creativity. Check out more inspirational articles at my blog, Good Vibrations. For more information about life coaching, visit my website at www.manifestwithmargrita.com.  Have a question or topic you’d like me to write about here? Email me at [email protected]. I invite you to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, too!