Is your body’s check engine light on?

Some of us are in the habit of ignoring when our body’s check engine light is on—or totally unaware that such a thing exists. Meanwhile, our energy is leaking everywhere, putting us at risk for burnout or breakdown. That’s when we finally call Roadside Service (doctors and others) for help. Yet prevention is always the best medicine. Now that we’ve survived the holidays, it’s a good time to assess: Where do we wish to invest our precious energy this year?

Malfunction alert!

The real name of a car’s check engine light is the Malfunction Indicator Lamp (MIL). Its responsibility is to alert the driver to an issue that’s disrupting a vehicle’s performance. There’s a lot riding on that tiny light’s shoulders.

When it comes to our personal vehicle, our body, many of us monitor our water, our steps, our calories, our sleep, and more. But how often do we pay attention to how much energy we’re doling out as we journey through our days?

For example, we may push ourselves physically, at work or home, until there’s absolutely nothing left in the tank. Or over-extend our emotional energy by feeling responsible for others and even the whole world. Or tap out our mental energy with stories about unresolved conflicts, worries about the future, or regrets about the past.

Meanwhile, we wonder why we’re exhausted and frustrated—or stuck on repeat like our own version of the movie Groundhog Day.

These are all signs that our body’s check engine light is on. We need to pay attention.

Where is the love?

Why is it so challenging to manage our energy? Because it’s about setting personal boundaries and that’s a rocky road for many of us. Not because we’re bad drivers, but because our lack of boundaries benefits others.

There’s a powerful quote that’s been making the rounds on Instagram (at least in my feed): Rest is a radical act of self-love in a world that glorifies exhaustion.

Yes, radical.

Consider all the ways our society idealizes exhaustion: Doctors, nurses, and caregivers who regularly power through 24-hour shifts. Athletes and weekend warriors who push through pain and fatigue. Working moms who manage more than two full time jobs—because moms don’t clock in 40 hours a week, they’re on duty 24/7/365.

(Yes, some dads experience this, too, but statistics show it continues to be more of an issue for women.)

Smell the coffee

We’re conditioned to see this as some kind of super-human ability. But as we see the mental and physical health of the nation eroding, we’re beginning to wake up and smell the coffee, or our engines, burning.

It hasn’t been an easy road for researchers like Besser Van Der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score and Gabor Mate, author of When the Body Says No. Fortunately for us, their compassionate approach and “radical” insights into the body-mind connection are changing the way we look at ourselves and our culture.

How do we know where we’re consistently leaking energy? First, we need to become aware of when our body’s check engine light is on.

We all have our “tells” when we care to notice. Like cravings for things like snacks, cigarettes, or alcohol. Or snapping at people or pets for no good reason. Or isolating or disengaging from everyone and everything.

Not so coincidentally, these are all fear responses—fight, flight, or freeze.

We might be inclined to wonder, what exactly are we so afraid of?

Not our fault

In this culture, many of us grew up learning to fear or feel shame about our emotions, as I shared in one of my earlier blogs. Or to disregard them as weak or unimportant.

Yet, when we disconnect from our emotions, our body is operating with faulty wiring.

But it’s not our fault. We’ve become desensitized to our body’s signals, so we can’t sense when that check engine light is on.

Being desensitized also enables us to override the malfunction indicators — like continuing to drive a car without any oil. Ever try that? I did in my 20s with my prized Toyota Celica. Did she keep going?

Hell, no!

After being towed to the shop, the mechanic discovered a leak in her oil tank and a broken check engine light—a pretty clear metaphor for my life at that time.

While most of us realize that machines break down when not cared for properly, we seem to think we can abuse our body forever.

It’s sad that we often honor the needs of inanimate things, like cars, houses, or clothing, than we do our own.

Repair the wiring

To understand where we’re spending our energy, we need to pay attention. Just like monitoring our calories or steps helps us become aware of how much we’re consuming or expending.

Of course, energy is a little more abstract, especially when it’s mental or emotional. That’s why connecting with how we feel is so important.

We can start by simply taking a few minutes to get in touch with how we’re feeling. Practicing a body scan meditation, like this one, helps turn our attention inward.

And of course, one of my favorite ways is reflecting in a journal—either before bed or in the morning. (See below for questions to consider.)

Reflective writing can help us begin to understand the language of our body. It’s like that computer in the car that assesses where it’s malfunctioning.

When we take the time to connect, our body reveals where the wiring is faulty and why the energy is leaking. And when we get better at noticing when the check engine light is on, we get better at noticing where we need stronger personal boundaries.

No. That’s all.

We often think of boundaries as something we set with other people. Actually, boundaries are something we set around ourselves.

As adults, we get to decide what we allow to happen in our lives. But if we’ve been conditioned to ignore our needs, we struggle to feel what we need—let alone honor our needs.

By taking steps to repair the faulty wiring, we begin to understand our needs and then we can reclaim our power. Remember, no is a complete sentence, as they say.

Believe me, I know it’s hard to say no when the demands on our time and energy seem endless — and we want to please everyone. But our body IS our choice and managing our energy reserves is our responsibility.

The truth is no one else is going to pay the price of a personal breakdown but us.

It begins with me

Just like our planet, we need to protect our natural resources. Mother Nature seems to be screaming NO big time. Yet, we can feel powerless to protect her.

But remember, how we treat ourselves elevates or lowers our personal vibration—and our vibration contributes to the world around us.

Again, when we repair any faulty wiring, we can clearly feel this in our bodies. For example, when we say we feel run down or we feel depressed, we’re noticing low vibrational energy.

Monitoring where our energy is flowing each day helps us become more intentional about our choices. We can stop leaks by setting and honoring our own boundaries. Then we can choose to channel those precious energy reserves towards people and projects that matter to us.

What we see in the outside world is a mirror of what needs attention within us. So, maybe healing the planet can begin with healing ourselves.

 

Interested in working with a life coach? Check out my website. Want more Good Vibrations? Subscribe to my blog below.

Journaling prompts for assessing energy:

• How do I feel—emotionally and physically?
• Where did I spend my time today/yesterday? Did I feel good about it? Why or why not?
• Is anything bothering or distracting me?
• Is there something I didn’t get to do that I wanted to do? Why? What held me back?
• Does this happen regularly for me?
• What are my personal “tells” that my energy is leaking?
• How might I use this information to take better care of my needs?